My thoughts

Day 6

2010-03-14T04:23:00.001-07:00

Momentum. That's what I feel like I have right now. Thursday was good, Friday was better, today was great! I woke up rested, started off singing "Everything" by Lifehouse, singing "You're all that I want, you're all that I need. Everything, Everything." with everything I had. Spent some quality time in prayer. Read some more in Romans 8. Always a good idea. And felt energized the entire day! It was a strange feeling. I felt physically weak, but spiritually and emotionally very strong. It is amazing to feel the difference of today and Monday or Tuesday, where it was kind of the opposite. God just turned everything around and really showed me some of what He's capable of doing in my life, sustaining and satisfying all my needs. It almost makes me want to do 2 weeks! But no. I'm gonna stick with the original plan. I was talking with a good friend of mine the other day about fasting and he said that a cool thing about it is that when you do fast, everything that you would do on a normal basis that doesn't please God or isn't good for you physically, you tend to stop for that week. Which I feel like I did. Kind of like going though rehab. With only a little withdrawal. For instance, any problem I've had with cursing before, I pretty much stopped this entire week. And, physically, I tend to eat at fast food restaurants a lot. This week I didn't. It has been very fulfilling to see changes happening both Spiritually and Physically. The tough part coming up after this week ends, however, is going to be keeping this momentum going and to keep my thoughts on Philippians 4:8. To keep my focus on pleasing God, not myself or others. And to sustain it. Which is impossible, on my own. To successfully achieve that, I will have to FULLY rely on God to supply my every need. It will be an every day thing and there will most likely be days when I trip up, but I know that my God loves me and will hold me through whatever is thrown my way.

Day 5

2010-03-12T20:48:00.001-08:00

Day 5

Wow. I feel like I've hit my second wind today. It feels so strange because I still feel the hunger, but I have just had rocking success saying no to the temptation. Here's my big victory for today: went to a friends house for dinner, letting them know ahead of time what's going on, and found out they were making pasta. Dangerous. Went there, it smelled amazing, like 3 people were joking around tempting me, AND they made homemade donuts, sprinkled with powdered sugar. GOD IS GOOD! I prayed earlier today specifically for strength and he fulfilled it completely. I felt weak today in the flesh, but strong in the Spirit. Normally it is the other way around, which is completely opposite of how it should be. Very refreshing to feel. Anyways, God is still revealing and I just have this sense that He has soooooo much more He wants to show me. The problem is I just haven't been listening. Haven't been seeking His will. His desires. His heart. There has just been too much white noise covering over everything He is trying to say. I've been singing this old hymn this past couple of days that I think really fits what God is making this week all about.

Hallelujah! He has found me, the one my soul so long has craved.

Jesus satisfies all my longings. Through His blood, I now am saved.

Another cool moment I had on the way home tonight was the thought that this week has gone by soooooo slow. But what instantly came to mind was: "What is the problem with that?!?" Everyone says that time flies by so fast. Why not have a slow week where you can actually think and reflect and respond? It feels like before this fast, weeks have been flying by. I mean, it's already freaking March already! It feels like just yesterday was January. I figured that this week is a nice change of pace.

Day 4

2010-03-12T20:47:00.000-08:00

Day 4

Yesterday was a long day! Not so much because of the fasting. It kind of eased up, surprisingly. Mainly because I started the day off wrong. I stayed the night at a friends house and came home the next morning. I didn't sing, didn't read any scripture, I prayed a little on the way home, but not with the kind of focus I've had the past few days. It is very clear what happens when you start off with nothing. I felt like the entire day was rushed, unorganized, and tiring. Very different from the past few days. It felt very wrong. Not like I'm a terrible person, but since I had experienced such incredible mornings this entire week, it felt like something was missing. Kind of like forgetting your cell phone at home. I felt like I left the house unprepared. Not ready for what the world throws at me constantly. And it showed. I was tired, felt drained like I was running on empty. But, when I finally came to the realization that I was half way done with the week, it challenged me. Here's what it said to me:

Challenge number 1- You can finish this. Almost done.

Challenge number 2- On the flip side, The week is almost done! I went into this week having a ton of goals to pray for and focus on, but I haven't done that in the capacity that I want.

Challenge number 3- Keep relying on God's strength for everything. Not just satisfying hunger.

All 3 were pretty amazing to realize. I pray that the rest of the week, I can follow through with these challenges.

Day 3

2010-03-11T04:39:00.000-08:00

WHEW! Tough day. Almost gave in and broke the fast a few times. I know it wouldn't be wrong, but I'm trying to stick with it and see it through. Anyways, I woke up singing "Take my life (Here Am I)" and made it basically my entire prayer for the morning. Amazing way to start off the day. Every word was a cry to God to completely take over my thoughts, emotions, actions, and words. I led worship for Crossroads Church's Xtreme Middle School Ministry and it was awesome! It was strange, because I feel like I didn't prepare at all, transition wise or musically. BUT! Since I'd made it a priority to seek God the days before, it reaaaaaally made a difference. I felt like the truths that God had been showing me in His Word flowed easier than when I try to conjure up something to fit a song. The only term I can think of is it came out of the overflow of my heart, which felt amazing! Really felt like Psalms 119:171 was fulfilled.

¹⁷¹ May my lips overflow with praise,

for you teach me your decrees.

Although we may not have been the best musically, I really feel like some kids connected, which is all I can ask. They were energetic, they sang, and some even responded. Really encouraging to see. We shall see what the next day holds!

Take my life and let it be
consecrated, Lord, to Thee.
Take my moments and my days,
let them flow in ceaseless praise.
Take my hands and let them move
at the impulse of Thy love.
Take my feet and let them be
swift and beautiful for Thee.

Take my voice and let me sing
always, only for my King.
Take my lips and let them be
filled with messages from Thee.
Take my silver and my gold
not a mite would I withhold.
Take my intellect and use
every power as You choose.

::Chorus::
Here am I, all of me.
Take my life, it's all for Thee.

Take my will and make it Thine
it shall be no longer mine.
Take my heart it is Thine own
it shall be Thy royal throne.
Take my love, my Lord I pour
at Your feet its treasure store
Take myself and I will be
ever, only, all for Thee.
Take myself and I will be
ever, only, all for Thee.

Day 2

2010-03-09T21:52:00.000-08:00

Whew. Today was a long day. Started off great, singing Hungry(Falling on my knees). Felt like it was appropriate. AND it fit the entire day. It was tough staying strong. I had to keep on reminding myself that there is a *insert cheesy cliche here*. I left early to visit Daniel and Heidi Hicks at the hospital. Got to experience new life seeing a newborn baby. We prayed for them as a family before we left. It was all around an amazing morning! However, as the day went on, it got harder. Satan kept throwing opportunities to slip up, give in, and indulge myself. Over and over again. But I had people encouraging me throughout the day, which meant a lot. Had a meeting today where some TOUGH questions were asked. For instance, the age old question: What are you doing for the next 5 years of your life? Heard it a lot. The only answer I can come up with is following where God leads. Today, big questions were asked. A big reason why I'm doing this week is to seek wisdom and guidance for these questions. Tomorrow, I am going to make it my goal to follow through with Joshua 1:8-9.

Do not let this Book of the Law depart from your mouth; meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do everything written in it. Then you will be prosperous and successful. ⁹ Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go."

Day 1

2010-03-08T22:09:00.001-08:00

I HAD AN AMAZING DAY! First of all, if you haven't read "The Beginning", read that first. Explains a lot. Anyways! I woke up excited about this week!!! A few developments since last night. Before I went to sleep, I decided that whatever song I woke up singing, I would get my guitar and sing it. Sang "Lead me to the Cross" this morning. Then spent about 20 mins. in prayer. THEN! Came up with a prayer list, instead of trying to remember everyone's prayer requests and then forgetting them. Really good encounter with God! Also, I made the decision to include watching tv shows, which is what eats a lot of my spare time, in the fast. Spent the majority of the morning worshiping, praying, and reading scripture. Made a huuuuge difference in the direction of the day! I read in Psalms 139 about how God's thoughts for us outnumber the grains of sand. MIND BLOWING to think that God is that enamored with us. That ALONE changed my mindset of the day.

Throughout the day, spending time with different friends, I came to realize in a fuller sense how much they affect my thoughts, actions, and attitudes. I thought and acted one way around one group of friends and one way around another. It was very confusing because I couldn't tell who the real me was! I came to the realize that whenever I think about "whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy", that is what I truly am, in Christ! Anything else is not of Christ. Pretty intense thought that whatever isn't in that list that I do doesn't need to be happening. Those were 2 of the big revelations of the day. I also had one while I was at the gym with my work out partner. I was kind of explaining to him what was going on with this whole fast thing. As I was talking, I was realizing stuff about it, which is crazy. Kind of how you find out your opinion on some subjects when you write on them. I told him the reason that I wanted to do it is to proclaim that I find satisfaction in everything that God offers, which is tough because so many things try to wiggle their way into my desires. So, that is my first day. A lot happened. God spoke. Revealed. And it is my turn to Respond. That is what tomorrow is going to be. My response to what God is revealing.

The beginning.

2010-03-08T21:51:00.000-08:00

First of all, I'm doing this to put my thoughts into writing, not to boast about my spiritual maturity or anything. I'm writing this week to boast in what God is doing in my life.

Ok so here's how this week started:
I went to Midtown church in ATL Sunday night. It was phenomenal. The pastor, Matt Reynolds, was sharing about his trip to Africa and the UAE and all kinds of crazy stuff. An incredible God story. Somehow, throughout this message and going into an awesome time of worship, I heard God reminding me of some specific, powerful things: I am not broken- I am whole. I am not weak- I am strong, in Him. In Him, complete satisfaction can be found. All INCREDIBLE things to hear. Sometime during the message, Matt also talked about fasting somewhere. Didn't focus on it whatsoever, but just barely touched on it. As we entered into worship, they offered the Lord's supper. I hadn't taken it in a while and started to prepare my heart for it by thanking Him and praising Him for everything He has done and is doing. Then, I started asking for forgiveness and guidance. As I was praying, God just laid on my heart that I need to fast this week. So, I jumped at the opportunity, took the Lord's supper, and decided to make that the last thing I eat till the next Sunday when I take the Lord's supper again to finish it. Super excited about it and I pray that God does some awesome stuff in and through me this week!

Journal Log- 5/17/09

2009-05-18T08:41:00.000-07:00

So tonight, I was walking to the front door from my car after an awesome night at midtown when I had a thought kind of slam into me. I was checking my phone for text messages and I remembered one from a buddy of mine asking me to do him a favor. Last week. Obviously, I forgot it, but I had this simple thought ring in my head - "Life is short. " It was a week ago that he contacted me!! I stopped dead in my tracks on the way to the door and asked myself, "What have I accomplished in this seemingly short-but-just-as-long-as-any-other week? Have I done anything significant? Anything that left a mark on someone else's life? Anything worth my short time on this earth?!?" Not boasting that I'm this big, important person or anything, but the fact of the matter is "Life is short." Right now, this very second, I'm dying. It feels pretty weird saying that in my head, but it's true. Ever second that passes, I am getting closer and closer to the time when my Father calls me home. And thinking about this makes me ask all of these questions all over again, except this time, about my LIFE. Am I making every encounter I have with someone count? Is every decision I make made with the Kingdom in mind? ALL of theses questions can be a little. bit. overwhelming. At least to me. But the more I think about it, I think they kind of should be, but not to the point that they keep us from making progress. They should be challenging us and pushing us, not hindering us. They should be an asses to us. A tool. Kind of like guidlines to check our work with. LIke a job description. A veeerrrrryyy specific job description for a veeeerrrrryyy specific job: A Kingdom Ambassador. This is kind of what Matt was talking about at Midtown tonight. It's a tough job, if we try to do it on our own. Quite impossible, actually. It can't be done by our strength. It requires a constant pouring of the Holy Spirit into our hearts, minds, souls, and lives. If that isn't there we're going to be drained. FAST. Truuuuussssttt me. I know. I've been there, done that. Not fun. Very stressful, and guess what? UNFULFILLING!!!! Isn't that weird? The "seemingly" hardest thing- looking for guidance 24/7 from the Holy Spirit- ends up being the easiest in the long run because you don't have to go through all of that heartache and discontentment. Mind-bottling, huh? You know, like when your thoughts get put in a bottle and shaken up? Ok. Back to writing. Enough Talladega Nights quotes. I guess I say/write all of this to clarify to myself that I have no idea what i'm doing- but I know a guy who does. And I want to become completely dependent upon His wisdom, strength, guidance and everything else He has to offer, which is more than enough and more than I deserve. So, I don't know about anyone else, but I'm going to be praying for peace with these questions and that I depend on Him to the point that it's all I do and it honors the sacrifice that was made for me to be able to do so. Praise God for random teaching moments!

Journal Log- 5/12/09

2009-05-11T21:26:00.000-07:00

So! Today, I've been feeling pretty overwhelmed. And I fell like I have no direction right now, whatsoever. And I feel like I'm not making good use of my talents. Now, I don't want to sound like I'm whining or complaining! I'm just struggling right now. So today was pretty crazy busy and as I was getting ready to write some, I picked up a notebook *the wrong one at that*. All it said on the front page was "Psalms 46:10". That's all that was written in the entire little pad. Just a verse reference. So at the end of a crazy day, I read a verse directly from the mouth of God, saying "Be still! Know that I am God!". Completely perfect for today- slow down; take time to focus on what really matters. Also, while I was at the gym, almost killing myself and dying of thirst, I walked over to the water fountain after running a mile. Man! THat water was soooo cold and refreshing. But- God told me right there- "I am the living water that refreshes and re-energizes and strengthens and revitalizes better than anything you can find in this world. Quit looking for satisfaction in all the wrong places!! I will satisfy your needs beyond all

you can imagine!"

"re-"

a prefix, occurring originally in loanwords from Latin, used with the meaning “again” or “again and again” to indicate repetition, or with the meaning “back” or “backward” to indicate withdrawal or backward motion- Dictionary.com

I just realized also that I referenced the prefix "re" a ton in this post as well. Kinda says to me that God wants to do it again. and again. and again. Because of his everlasting, never ending, bottomless love. K moving on.

Those two words from my Father today madd all the stress, anxieties, and worries of today and tomorrow go away. Right now, I feel such a peace about today. Even though no decision about tomorrow, I feel like I've made progress, which is nice to feel when all you've been feeling is a LACK of progress. It's refreshingly wonderful.

EVERYONE LISTEN!!

2008-08-04T16:35:00.000-07:00

Aaron Keyes- "Praise, Worship, and the Presence of God".

It will change your life. Unfortunately, you can't download it. Do me a favor and take notes. Once you are done, send them to me or call me or something. I want to hear your take on it. Seriously. Do it.

..oh and its like 40 mins, so don't start it unless you have like an hour *the extra 20 mins is for note taking.. hehe*

Hard issue for me

2008-08-04T16:33:00.001-07:00

K, so if you have read any of the other stuff about p@w I have written, then you might notice I have kind of been going through a spiritual and mental transformation about the subject. My outlook on praise and and worship and what is going on when these happen, when they should happen, and what should happen afterwards has completely changed. Now! when change happens, obviously you arent the same and can't act the same. So, lately, I have been having an issue talking to musicians and sound technicians who are on during a service. For YEARS, I have been in the habit of asking the general questions that every musician hears a billion times: "What SONGS are yall doing?", "How does the MIX sound?", "How is the BAND doing?".
This problem also applies to conversations afterwards: "YALL did a good job", "It SOUNDED good.", "I like your guitar tone" or whichever questions are normally asked.

I don't know if I just have a problem with critiquing anything that has to do with music or what, or even if it is just me, but I have struggled with this for about 2 months now. Just recently, I went to a Church called seacoast vineyard Church. OH! right there!!! I automatically wanted to describe the physical attributes of the church!! NO!!!!!! dang... I frustrate myself sometimes.. None of that matters. What happens in this physical world holds no weight in what happens in eternity. God does not concern himself with this. He wants our hearts! He wants to have our attentions! He wants US!!!! He doesn't want a good mix, a tight band, or sick guitar tone. He want us to be ready, willing, and yearning to meet with Him; He who deserves it more than anything!
7 But the LORD said to Samuel, "Do not consider his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him. The LORD does not look at the things man looks at. Man looks at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart." 1 Samuel 16:7

I want to be more Christ-like in the way that verse talks about. I want to go deep, be meaningful, and not just another person who inquires about unimportant matters. I want to be someone who does just that: look at the heart of the matter, not what is happening on the outside.

Realization

2008-08-03T14:53:00.001-07:00

So, I'm 18. I've lived at home all my life, obviously. However, my parents, last year, felt God calling them to iTaly *ha. i don't know why i did that. felt like making it look like a Mac country.. even though they are very rare in europe cause they are so expensive. whatever!*. Read my other blog, called "My Family" if you have no idea what I'm talking about. Anyways, I've been reading this book called "Blue Like Jazz" by Donald Miller. Its sooooo good. I suggest reading it to everyone. Some would see it as a controversial book, but I don't at all. It is a book by an intellectual writing about his struggles and victories during his journey to an intimate relationship with God. I have a hard time relating to some of the stuff he struggled with, mainly because I am NOT an intellectual. I'm a musician. Different part of the brain.. He talks about loving the world alot and not judging. So good.

Anyways! back to subject. I realized that I am, slowly but surely, becoming a mature adult. Since I've been living at home, I've been kind of following whatever my parents opinions are. Over the course of this year, I've started becoming my own person and forming my own opinions, some of which my parents agree with and some of which they don't. I've started owning my life, if you will, my relationship with God especially. I'll probably do some more blogging tonight.. Just thought I would share that with you!

My Family

2008-08-03T14:10:00.000-07:00

Ok so I have the greatest family ever. They are supportive, encouraging, loving, AND on top of all that, they are listening to God's call on their lives and are pursuing a call He gave them.

Rick- Father, hilarious and deeper than I will probably ever realize
Susan- Mother, loving and wise
Rebecca- Older sister
Rachael- Younger sister

Here is what's going on:

First off, Rebecca is already in the mission field living on a ship called the "Doulos". She left January '07 and her term ends Februrary '09. She loves it so much and it has changed her life.

My parents, Rick and Susan, and my sisters, Rachael and Rebecca, went to Italy like 2 years ago, I think, for a mission trip with crossroads Church. During this trip, I think God called all of them to the mission field. Rebecca hadn't found her place and was still trying to figure out what to do with her life. Mom had felt a calling to missions since she was a teenager, especially after she lived in Chile for 2 years doing just that! Rachael was and still is a teenager trying to find where she fits in. Becca actually got to visit the Doulos when she was in Italy, which was what caught her eye and got the gears moving in her head.

They had such a blast that they decided to do another trip a year later. They had also felt a real connection with Eliseo and Paula, the Operation Mobilisation *also called OM* Italy missionaries. Somehow, somewhere, during these trips, between getting lost in Rome and meeting a ton of people, God broke their hearts for Italy. In "Hosanna" by Hillsong United, one of the lines of the bridge is "Break my heart for what breaks Yours". That is what they have prayed for their entire lives and they got what they asked, no begged, for!

SO! after a year of raising support, financially and also with prayer cover, they are leaving August 13th for Torre Pellice, Italy. We already sold our house, they shipped all of their belongings that they won't need for a couple of months, I moved all of the stuff I won't be needing.

So, you ask "Well, Joe! What are you going to be doing?!" Well, I am working at crossroads Church, currently, and will be living with the Murty Family. *I have been helping them finish their basement..* I'm going to a community college, which starts back in about a month, studying digital media, editing videos. Haven't quite found where my nitch is, as far as what God wants to do with me. I am actually praying right now about whether or not to follow the same kind of path as the rest of my family! I talked to Becca about maybe going to Belgium in a year or so. I don't know whats going to happen with that, but I will keep you updated.

Prayer reqs:
My parents still have yet to seel their car. Its a Pontiac Aztec. Not the biggest seller. Thats pretty much the biggie right now, along with getting more financial support. That and continued peace with me and my family. I know my family, especially my mom, will be feeling very emotional, what with leaving me in the U.S. and all. So pray for that, if you will please. Those and clarity for me. Those are pretty much the biggies. Thanks.

Which will you choose?

2008-08-01T17:34:00.000-07:00

"There is a time when every person who encouhters Jesus, who believes Jesus is the Son of God, decides that they will spend their life following Him. Some people, like the Apostle Paul, make this decision the minute they meet Him, the minute they become a Christian. Others, like the Apostle Peter, endure years of half-hearted commitment and spiritual confusion before leaping in with all their passion. Still others may enjoy some benefits of God's love and grace without entering into the true joy of a marriage with their maker" Blue like Jazz by Donald Miller

I'll expand on this later. Sorry. finished typing and ran out of time.

smiling... try it sometime!

2008-08-01T17:33:00.001-07:00

smiling... try it some time!
Current mood: sore

yea so i pretty much love it! you know you do too.. it is contagious and can make a person feel better if used correctly. I hate fake ones, love real ones, and help others find lost ones... its something i like to do. Smiling, laughing, giggling, snickering, guffawing.. ITS ALL GOOD!! If I had to live without food or smiles, i would probably choose food. Life isn't worth living if you aren't happy with what you are doing with your life. Thats why I smile. I try to make a negative situation into a positive one as much as i can. Sometimes, it can't be done, but you can still try. If you know me personally, you know that is exactly how i act: always smiling, joking around to "try" and make people laugh, and anything else fun.

So, I encourage everyone to not look at the negative situation, because 99% of the time, your bad situation is nothing compared to a 3-rd world country or someone who has lost a loved one. Always try to be as positive as possible and don't frown. It takes more work to frown than it does to smile...

Joe

My life

2008-08-01T17:20:00.000-07:00

I want my life to be an offering. An offering to the One, True, Living God. A pleasing aroma. A life that at the end, He says "Well done, good and faithful servant. With you, I am well pleased." In my opinion, that is the ultimate fulfillment. Nothing else matters. If you live your life trying to please the world, trying to get its approval, you will never succeed. This world cares nothing for you. It is the Father's approval I seek; I long for; I crave. Without this, my life means nothing.

I dedicate my life to hear those 12 words.

We cry out!

2008-08-01T17:17:00.000-07:00

esus Culture

Oh lord we cry out, we've been lost
We need your mercies oh god
We repent for our sin and we turn to you again

Oh lord we cry out, we've been lost
Change our hearts to yours oh god
We repent for our ways and we turn to you again
And we turn to you

Oh god we cry out for your mercy
Oh god we cry out for your grace
Oh god we cry out, set us free
Oh god we cry out, once again
Once again

These cries have been put into songs, songs that are lifted up in churches across the nations. The problem with this is that these cries have become part of a routine and these cries become stifled by just that: a routine of "worship on the weekends". I CAN'T STAND IT!!! Worship- real, authentic, heartfelt worship- should be you having an ENCOUNTER WITH GOD!!! not just singing a couple of songs and listening to a message that you will probably forget in a couple of hours. The generation between this one and the past *our parents* kind of got caught up in the "showy service" where there are lights going, big sound system, big guitar parts, and easy messages to follow along to and to bring your friends to listen to and be impressed with. nope. doesn't make the cut.

My definition of true worship is when you have an Encounter with God. We've been over that. However, when that happens, there is no way you could walk away the same person. Either you are convicted of something that, being close to God, was shown to you. you become refreshed and renewed, you gained a new perspective on what God wants for your life, or ALL OF THE ABOVE! So, in order for you to actually engage in worship and truly be in the manifest presence of God, you can't help but walk away changed!

I want my life to be a cry to God. A cry for for mercy. For Patience. For Grace. For Freedom. For Love. For Comfort. For Joy. A Cry of utter Dependence. I want everyday of my life to be filled with these cries and nothing else. Nothing that this world tries to fill me with. I want to experience the fullness of Christ every moment of every day of every week of every year of my life. I want nothing less and nothing more. I dedicate my life to this and dedicate my life to join my cries with those of my generation, who are rising up to take their place in this lost world.

Father,
I ask that that would be our heart's desire. I pray that every day, we would search for you, hunger you, and just plan OBSESS over you and how much you love us. I pray that this generation truly would stand up and take their place in this world that needs you, that is hungry for you. I ask, I pray, I CRY OUT to you that our generation would not settle for mediocre "worship services", but that we would hunger for something deeper, for a deep intimate encounter with you every day, not just on the weekends. I pray that you would break this generations heart for what breaks yours. Use us to spread Your contagious love and affection.